한국에 대한 소설을 읽기 시작했다 한글으로 쓴 책이 아니라도. 읽다가 그 사람이 다시 떠올랐다. 한국의 역사를 어떻게 생각할 지 궁금하나보다. 읽다가 그 사람 계속 떠올리고 떠올랐다. 떠올리면서 속었던 내가 다시 싫어졌다. 또 자책하나보다. 싫다. 싫다. 싫다.
혹시 난 너무 너무 빨리 했냐? 그래서 빨리 정리해야지! 근데 아직도 고민한다. 그것이 진짜 좋을까? 할 수 있을까? 견딜 수 있을까?
그런데 어제 한국어 능력시험 정답표를 나온다는 소식을 들어서 오늘 확인해봤다. 확인해 봤더니 점수 좋을 것 같다. 쓰기는 잘 하지 않아도, 다시 실패하기도 해도 이번에 내 답을 다 기억해서 설렜어. 지난 번에 하나도 기억을 못했잖아. 진난 번에 시럼볼 때 많은 것을 알아 못 들었잖아. 이 설려는 마음이 행복이라고 생각했다.
Not wanting to look at any Hangeul for the meantime after cramming for TOPIK for the past few days, I started reading an English novel Yoko Kawashima Watkins’ So Far From The Bamboo Grove. Although not in Korean, it was about Korea during World War II.
And once again, I started thinking about him. We once talked about Korean history. I was curious of what he thinks about the book. It started that way until I can no longer stop my flow of thoughts and it went on and on and on and on almost ruining my day.
Was I going too fast? I started watching Korean dramas again. Then I started poring over my Korean books. And now a novel. Maybe I should slow down a bit?
Anyway, the 34th TOPIK answer sheets were the saving grace of the day.
I heard from Meloncreme that the answer sheets were already out so I excitedly downloaded them.
I’ve taken TOPIK a number of times and I’ve never checked the anwer sheets because there’s no way I can remember what my
answers guesses were. But this time it’s different. I was so excited to check things out because I think I can remember my answers this time.
And I was right. I remembered 90% of my answers; thus I was able to gauge what my scores are going to be. Though the writing part worries me, the rest were much better than what I was expecting. I don’t think I’ll get a Level 4. I may even miss getting a Level 3. But the fact that I was able to remember most of my answers makes me happy. It means I didn’t guess my answers this time. As I go over each item my heart was skipping. And I want to think of it as happiness. 🙂