Since I’m a terrible writer, I really find it hard to write something about things (or people) that are close to my heart. Thus I can’t write a proper review of most of Kim Sun Ah’s dramas, I can’t write a good personal post about Kim Sun Ah, and I rarely can write good letters to my closest friends. Whenever I attempt to write, it’s like my heart is overflowing with emotions and my mind can’t keep up in organizing my thoughts thus I end up giving up.
But this time, I want to try writing something about My Name Is Kim Sam Soon. I don’t think this is anywhere close to a review. But I just want to try answering why I’m so attached to this drama.
It’s been 5 years (close to 6 now) since I first saw, and got addicted to, My Name Is Kim Sam Soon. But no matter how many years have passed and how many good dramas come my way, I still hold My Name Is Kim Sam Soon special and close to my heart. And I guess it will forever be the number one drama on my list.
Five years ago this drama aired in our country, dubbed in our native language. It was the hype of the first wave of Hallyu in our country (when K-pop is still unheard of and Filipino girls scream not for Super Junior or 2PM but for Cholo (Kwon Sang Woo), Julian (Lee Dong Wok), Justin (Rain) and Martin (Lee Dong Gun).
I was apathetic over Korean dramas and the hype it created. 또? After Mexican dramas, Filipinos are going crazy over Korean dramas. It’s just another fad, I thought. As you can see, I was not into Korean dramas to begin with. It was Mom who’s the real and original K-drama fan in our home. She watched Korean drama one after the other on television – My Name Is Kim Sam Soon included.
I happen to catch the first few episodes because I was in between jobs that time. It was funny. The kind that is quite different from the other dramas that my mom watched/watches. But it was not enough to catch my attention.
I remember that a few months after my mom told me that Kim Sam Soon has ended. Fooled by how prettier Kim Sun Ah is on the title card than the Kim Sam Soon I saw on the first few episodes, I said, “So she became pretty, sexy and got married to the guy, right?”. To my surprise, my mom said, “Neither”.
It sparked my interest and got curious. Thus when the re-run started, I watched it. Casually at first. But eventually
Kim Sun Ah’s amazing portrayal of Kim Sam Soon the way Kim Sun Ah gave life to Kim Sam Soon got me. And I was hooked. I grew up seeing dramas with ridiculous plots and the most unbelievable characters on television (aka Filipino dramas circa 80s, 90s, 2000s). So seeing a meticulously produced drama (compared to the crap we have) with a not-so-typical heroine (not pretty, not sexy, swears to her heart’s content) amazed me.
I enjoyed watching the show, but it was Kim Sam Soon’s confession that made me crazy.
At that time, for many reasons, my confidence is at its lowest. But there in front of me, inside a 21″ black box, is a chubby, unattractive 30-year-old woman, who can swear a lot, confessing bravely to the guy she likes. Something I wish I can do, but I know I won’t be able to do. I can’t help but adore her braveness and confidence. And since then, I’ve been cheering for her (especially whenever Sam Shik is being a jerk).
I’ve laughed and cried with her. I cheered for her. My heart fluttered when hers did. I adored her more and more.
But what struck me the most was the scene when she was talking to her Dad in her dreams.
Even before that scene. When I saw Kim Sam Soon sleeping peacefully next to Jin Hun, I started being sad. When a lot of other viewers would have been all giddy and happy for Sam Soon for she finally found her happiness, I was sad. Because it was too good and too perfect and I worry what if her happiness won’t last long? I was afraid that Sam Soon MIGHT get hurt and be devastated – because everything is so good NOW. O.o Those were the foolish thoughts that I have.
So imagine how stunned I was when, after a few minutes, Sam Soon started crying and put my thoughts into words.
Sam Soon: It’s just that things are going so well right now. I am so happy right now… but… I am so afraid that everything will just disappear.
Sam Soon’s Dad: Sam Soon ah.
Sam Soon (crying): What if everything goes away? Daddy, I’m so afraid.
Sam Soon’s Dad: You dummy. Getting hurt, not getting hurt, why are you worrying about things that might never happen?
– copy-pasted from Dramabeans
Bulls eye! It’s as if Sam Soon’s Dad was talking to me and not to Sam Soon.
My weakness is always worrying things, that, as what Sam Soon’s Dad said, might not even happen. And that foolishness often ruins my TODAY. My NOW. And I realized, as Sam Soon started realizing it too, that we should stop worrying too much and live our lives to the fullest.
It was during a point in my life when I was really down. A time when I felt like, and believed that, nothing good is going to happen anymore. I watched My Name Is Kim Sam Soon out of the curiosity why the ugly duckling didn’t turn into a beautiful swan. But I ended up seeing life differently. I became happier and I started “living” again.
Thus I will be forever grateful to the lessons I’ve learned in My Name Is Kim Sam Soon – a Korean drama that has changed my life.