I Hate Rest Days!

Today’s one of the few days I get to spend home. For the past weeks/months I’m always outside with friends (or sometimes by myself) during my rest days.

I used to look forward to my rest days. Nothing’s better than having to spend a day or two in my jammies doing absolutely nothing. Or movie/drama marathoning, studying Korean, reading books, staying in bed all day and all night long.

But this time it’s different.

I hate rest days! Like today!

I’ve become very used to having fun with friends all around me. From fooling around to talking heart to heart. I used to be a loner and I enjoy the solitude of spending time alone. But being with my friends helps me forget things I should have forgotten a long time ago. And now that I’m by myself once more… as much as I hate to admit it… I can’t help but have these senseless useless and stupid thoughts sprawling all around my head and my heart just keeps getting heavier and heavier.

Thoughts. Worries. Loneliness. Pain. Regrets. Anger. I’m sick and tired of all of them. But I just can’t push them all away. I’ve read somewhere one should go through IT and not go around it. The thing is, I’ve been going around IT over and over and over… So I’m stuck in this endless circle.

I kn0w I can’t be with my friends all the time. I also know I can’t always be outside our house all the time. I need to rest too especially now that I’m not getting any younger. Going out non-stop tires me easily – and cost money!

I’ll just find myself some good movies or try to study some Korean and sleep the whole day. Thing on my To Do List? I’ll just deal with them when I feel like it… 😦

6 thoughts on “I Hate Rest Days!

  1. Are you away from your family? I know your feeling.
    I need to get used to myself without any friends around but those negative feeling keep coming out.
    Hope you get well soon. :3

    • Thanks for the comment. I live with my mom and aunt and that’s about it. You’re right. It’s fun being with friends because you forget everything. BUt at the end of the day and you’re alone it gets worse. And I don’t want to keep relying to my friends whenever I feel bad because they will not always be there anyway and I’ll just feel even worse whenever that happens. 😦

  2. I think I don’t enjoy my rest days anymore. I prefer being active rather than being in my room these days. Now I don’t like having a hectic life, but some time to myself is good because sometimes people can make me goヽ( `皿´ )ノ However, even though I know I need the time to myself, its like I can’t enjoy it anymore. Its weird. Its like I have this forever burning fire to stay active and get outside.

  3. Some years ago my mother got me a notebook to write down all the things I wanted say to people, but couldn’t necessarily due to “politeness”. At first I thought it was weird, but it helped me get it out of my system since I had phrased it even if those people didn’t get to hear it. That and some kind of physical activity whether walking my sister’s dog for 10 km, running, skipping rope.
    Please don’t neglect your rest. Sleep is everything for your immune system and your brain. I hope you have a nice study session 🙂

    • Thanks! I have a ‘secret blog’ I call 하고 싶은 말. something similar to your notebook (by the way, that was so nice of your mom! i love her now!). I used to write what I want to say to that person on that blog… but for some reasons when things started getting worse and worse and worse I can’t get myself to write anything on there anymore. It’s as if all thought and feelings I have were sealed and locked inside my head and can’t seem to get it out on whatever way and I just keep thinking about it over and over over. Writing has become a difficult thing for some reasons I don’t know.
      I’ve been going to the gym but it still sometimes makes me think of him. I guess I should run some more instead. I like sleeping. But I hate waiting for sleep to come. Worst part of the day for me! 😦

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