About 36 hours before my TOPIK Intermediate exam and I still think I am not ready for it. Although I attended a weekly review session with our dear 선생님 along with fellow 중급 takers, I wasn’t able to study much on my own outside those review sessions. I thought I could do some serious studying a week before the exam (after all it’s our 방학) but I ended up having to do remaining works on my subjects despite the supposed ‘vacation’ time.
So here I am, trying to cram everything in the next 36 hours. Of course I have to sleep,
eat (okay, I can review while eating), do some volunteer activities, meet a friend, revise a wedding invitation, watch my dramas, memorize my new favorite 짝사랑 song, think about (and hopefully talk with) my crush and finish my readings on Korean linguistics (in Korean!!!) within those 36 hours too.
Yesterday I almost gave up. Not the i-will-not-take-the-test-anymore kind of giving up but a i-know-i-will-never-ever-pass-who-am-i-kidding kind of giving up. But we had a mock exam and I managed to pass Level 3 somehow (though there were some ‘cheatings’ involved like a previously reviewed section and an extended writing time plus a lot of luck on my guesses). My scores were too low that one or two mistakes could easily make me fail Level 3 but it kinda gave me some hope that, maybe… just maybe, if I study a bit more in the remaining hours I might be able to pass Level 3 at least.
Actually aside from personal satisfaction, there are really no pressing and urgent reasons to pass the exam. It’s not like I will not graduate if I’ll fail. It’s not even required if I will be applying for a scholarship. 그래도 성공하고 싶어요. Also I want to make our dear 선생님 happy. She exerted so much effort in reviewing us despite the fact that she is not getting paid for it and she’s equally busy with her work, study, volunteer activity and her upcoming wedding (and despite the fact that most of us, at one point or another, have ditched a review session, or dozed off during review, or pretended understanding the discussion even if our brains have shut down). I know that all she wants is for us to do our best and try taking the exam and passing or failing is not important. But still, I’m sure she’ll be happier and proud if we’ll pass.