I always feel depressed for a quite a while now. But it became really worse this past couple of weeks. And I really hate feeling this way. But I just can’t help it.
I guess too much stress from school and other problems here and there made me forget one important lesson I learned from the drama My Name Is Kim Sam Soon. That is – NOT TO WORRY IN ADVANCE (or actually can be read as simple as NOT TO WORRY. Period.)
It’s one of the reasons why I love My Name Is Kim Sam Soon and why I hold it close to my heart. It has lifted me out of my depression 5 years ago. And it taught me how to dream again without any fears.
But somehow it looks like I forgot about that important lesson and I slowly became who I was 5 years ago without me realizing it.
I’m sincerely thankful to 지구고냥이 언니 for talking to me tonight. I keep posting crap on my me2day these past few days and she left a comment on my recent rant and I ended up chatting with her.
She didn’t exactly tell me not to worry in advance, but her words reminds me of what My Name Is Kim Sam Soon has taught me.
Some of my closest friends, who suffered from my rantings lately, keeps giving me positive and encouraging words. But apparently none of them worked for me. Not that I’m not grateful to them. I actually am. They all made me feel loved. But it were not the words I needed. And worse, I’m interpreting it differently and that only made me feel even worse.
But 지구고냥이 언니’s words are exactly what I needed at the moment. It’s just interesting that a Korean, and her advice written entirely in Korean has knocked some sense to me.
I’m really way better now. I know that there’s a big possibility that my heart can be shattered into pieces soon. But who cares! So be it! Why would I ruin each day sulking and feeling anxious? Especially for something I’m not even sure of.
I still think I need a good cry to completely get rid of all these ill feelings in my heart. Though honestly, my heart now feels really really lighter than how it was a few hours ago.
I guess I also have to rewatch My Name Is Kim Sam Soon really soon. I haven’t rewatched it for a long time.
I must never forget again. Must. Never.